Monday, December 31, 2012

a not so normal Christmas Eve, ended up being a totally not normal Christmas day

what started out like a not so normal Christmas Eve, ended up being a totally not normal Christmas day.

so, on our way home from our mini getaway to Wahoo Bay, Marie (aka-avocado lady) stopped by our house on her way to the hospital. when she realized we were not there, she tap-tap'ed to the "free" hospital about 10 minutes up the highway. Free meaning she can birthed her baby there but, after v-birth they are to leave a couple hours later. free as in, the nurses are so mean. free as in....  josh and i went to visit Marie and she is laying on a cot type bed, naked, under a sheet that is wrap around her (there is no sheet on the mattress thingy) her twins are laying in the same bed. imagine it, a cot. 2 newborns, one momma = super uncomfortable. i failed to mention that Marie had a c-section. She's in so much pain that she can  hardly talk. we walk in and she looks at us in sort of this desperation look. im about to cry, but remain tough. goodness its hard. her "babies daddy" is there with her (surprisingly) and he tells us that they have not eaten and they need diapers and socks for the babies. Marie is in so much pain, she is making me hurt at this point. there are other mommas with their babies in the room also. everyone on cots. babies in beds with them. probably all just delivered and prob all about to head home. honestly, they are probably better off at home rather than that place. the 2 nurses that are sitting. SITTING at the desk look like they could care less. it saddens my heart. they look at us as if we have stayed to long.. so, josh and i pray for Marie, she asks us to go and get Wonderchlo and Wonderson, her two youngest, so that they can stay with us for a couple of days. she has 5 kids at home. and now twins.

so, josh and i drove to her house to pick up W and W.
 ----let me back up... so Wonderchlo is in my class and i have fallen in love with him. bc i love him, i wanted to get to know his family more so, i began to pray how i could minister to his family. his mom (Marie) sells avocados in the market and since i have been coming to Haiti I have known her. when i would go to the market with tachi, we would always talk to her and hug her! its hard not to notice her, shes the prettiest lady in the market. come to find out, after a couple of weeks the kid that my heart was hurting for, was her son.... so, if you were wondering how she was just letting her kids stay with me..this is why. Wonderchlo has stayed the weekend before but Wonderson has never ever even let me look at him much less touch him.  i prayed the whole way to their house. Wonderchlo was excited to see me and Wonderson was a little confused. BUT, he hugged me right away and he willingly got into the truck. before doing so, their sister (12) bathed them with the left over water from their daily water usage. it sadden my heart to see her doing this so well. it because she tends to them daily. she should be doing things that 12 year olds like to do. sports? friends? she honestly shouldn't be really good at what she is doing. but, she is. its the normal here. its normal for her. its life for her.

once we arrive back at the RH house. W and W were welcomed by Micha & Jessica. their sweet hearts accepted and loved them right away. W and W wanted to eat as soon as we got here so, they ate and ate a lot. Wonderson is 3 years old and his body is about the size of an 18month old. Wonderchlo is 5 and his body is about the size of an 3 year old. both of them very mal-nourished.
megan & i decide to give both of them a dosage of abendazole to help with the pin-worms.  pin-worms are not fun. at all.
Our Christmas Eve activities were making gingerbread houses and decorating cookies. the kids loved it! we laughed a lot.  these activities were normal for me but, not so normal for W and W. i even had to stop and think about what was happening. they had never experienced this sort of Christmas Eve gathering before. we played until they fell asleep. while santa had to dig around to find some gifts to put under the tree for W and W, meg, josh and i wrapped and prepared cookies and milk for Papa Noel

W and W were the 1st ones to wake up. so, i waited for meg, josh and the girls to wake up bf we started to open gifts. the morning consisted of wrapping paper flying across the room out of pure joy. it was a sweet morning and a sweet memory to be apart of. im so thankful.
i also experienced first hand, the symptoms of worms and mal-nourishment. it kills me. Wonderson had the poops. sorry, if the next paragraph is to graphic. mucho poop-o. every hour i was changing his diaper. his diaper full of greyish, greenish, sometimes yellowish gooey poop. gross, i know. every time i changed him i would want to squeeze is expanded belly to make it all better. but, its hard as a rock so, its pretty impossible to squeeze. there could be so much more going on in his belly than we even know. after i talk to my dear nurse friend kameryn and send her pics of his poop she tells me what to do and not to do. kameyrn is coming tomorrow to haiti so, i wanted to warn her what she was getting into. she gladly accepted it and can't wait to get here!! after the phone call, i grab the sheets off the bed and their clothes and begin go downstairs to wash. i ask josh to fetch the water for me out of the "well" and i grab the washing bucket. i begin to wash. W & W are both sitting next to me watching this whole process. in their minds im sure they are thinking that their 12 year sister does a way better job than me. as i am washing i am starting to get frustrated. why the frustration? i ask myself the same question.

i am frustrated because i am doing this to try to make things better for them. i am hand washing their clothes, twisting and turning to make things better for them. i begin to think about the reasons they are mal-nourished with worms. the list goes on.  i think about when they go home, things will be the same for them and now surely with twins, how is Marie ever going to tend to them as she should?? im frustrated bc these boys are so special to me and im not ok with them being sick. im frustrated bc i want Marie to tend to them. show them affection. shower them with love. im not at all saying that she doesn't love her boys. but, i am saying things could be different. but, what does that different look like here?
at this point in my clothes washing i am a little more relaxed bc i have taken out my frustration on the sheets. i keep looking at the boys and making small talk..meaning, only using the creole words that i know and they probably think that i am crazy. crazy white lady. crazy white lady that loves them more then they will ever know. with all the "i's" being said in the first couple of sentences. i am reminded.... by doing this i am serving them. i am serving Marie. but, before any of them, i am serving the Lord. i am serving the King. HUMBLED. instant humility.

i change Wondersons diaper a few more times and Wonderchlo is constantly saying that he is hungry.  honestly, it probably has been a couple of days since they have eaten.  i can not even comprehend the idea of hunger. i have no clue. they do. more than often. they do. heart breaking. megan and i fix supper and everyone eats. they both eat then, they both poop. after i scrub them down in the shower, i am super excited to announce to them that  Josh downloaded Home Alone. the kids watched it on his computer, all snugged up on the air mattress. their laughs were amazing. they were amazed at the movie and all the pranks. we probably should watch them the next couple days!! hahah. once the laughter was over, i knew the movie was done. Wonderson fell asleep during the movie and little buddy Wonderchlo was soon on his way... then, i realize that we are OUT of pull-ups. its just not that easy to run to the local supermarket. for one, the closest store is about 30 min and .... you ready for this?? a pack of pull-ups are around $62. sickening i know. everything that is imported is WAY over priced. if you ever wonder why the kids here never have diapers on.. this would be the reason. i refuse to pay $62 for a pack of pull-ups so we make do. i poked two holes into the bag and put his little legs through the holes. yep, i did. yep, it worked. and ... he is also sleeping on a garbage bag. poor little guy, but i am trying to save my arms and not wash sheets 2 days in a row (this is me complaining and i need to get punched) ...... he really thinks im crazy now. haha.

the house is asleep now. generator is running.
Christmas day was not normal for me. but, i am living in a world that is "not normal" for me. the "not normal" has become "some-what normal" and my heart is learning. my heart is growing. my heart is changing. the Lord is teaching. the Lord is growing me. the Lord is changing me.
i just want to be used up. even if it looks like tending to these little darlings on Christmas Day. He was born for their souls. for their hearts. today we thanked Jesus a lot. we all voiced it out-loud. it was good and i can only hope He was pleased.

i didn't post this right away and its now New Years Eve. we have visited Marie and the twins a couple times. the twins are doing good but, marie is still in pain from the csection. therefore, W & W are still with us. i can't even begin to tell you how their bodies and bellies have changed just in 1 week. its pretty insane. what some affection and food can do. wow. im thankful that i have been given the opportunity to share life with them this week.  i will tend to the boys until she is back to normal. im thankful that she trust me to take care of her boys. im thankful that megan has said yes to them staying here. my heart is really overwhelmed by this. its a good overwhelm. i feel like my heart is prepared. im being really careful with this opportunity to love on these boys. its really strange how that Lord can make your heart be really sensitive and really tough at the same time. He knows my heart so well. He knows how to protect my heart. i am so amazed.

my friends from Zachary have been here too!!!!!  prefect timing JESUS! so thankful!!
they have been working their tails off.
washing walls.
changing diapers.
loving on W and W
packing up rooms.

what a week it has been!!!
im so glad God knows our hearts and knows exactly what we need.

TODAY, we will celebrate. Celebrate life in 2012 and Celebrate the new year 2013.
how will 2013 be different?
do something different.
love different.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

picture blog

pictures are fun, they can tell their own story. 

this k-3 class has been so fun. what i have learned from their little hearts, i'll never be able to explain.
join me and pray for them daily.

we had a decorating party and the girls kept calling the tree a "Tree Christmas". our little "tree Christmas" is up and we love it. its beginning to look alot like Christmas. even though its 100 degrees.

my dear friend Lana texted me with, "skype call asap" and i just knew the reason! her and myrt will tie the knot March 30th. so happy for them!!

ive been able to hang out with this dude and its been such a blessing to my heart. i love him so much and thankful that his momma lets me love him! 

a team from La. came and they were amazing!! they brought this super cool parachute thingy and the kids loved it!!! 

remember the guys and the nets we prayed for in the earlier post. this was him and his friends were pulling the nets in from the shore. i love this picture. 

this is my sweet Haitian sister Tachi. i love love love her. she runs this place and we are not really sure what we would do without her! im so thankful for her. 

this happened in front of the whole school. it was an awesome day! she said "YES" and they will tie the knot very soon on top of Belluve Mountain! 

im so thankful for sweet friends (kameryn kline) who send me encouragement. its means more to me than you will ever know. 

speaking of sweet friends.... these guys will be here in 3 days!!! yeah!!! hurry up!! 

baby J and Darlene are so special to me. they live at the RH house. darlene is such a hard worker and baby j is a little turd. i love him so dang much!! 

this was from one of the Saturday feedings. melissa breedlove took this photo and i just love it. im holding esther. she has my heart. big time. 

and... its Christmas. whoa. i can't hardly believe it. it feels so good to be here to celebrate Christ birth but at the same time i am missing being with my family during this time. i know this is where God has me at this time. its a beautiful season! 


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Beach Weekend.

we all knew that we needed a "getaway". we needed rest. we needed to be refreshed. renewed.

Megan looked everywhere for places to stay in Jacmel but, everything was booked bc of a festival that was coming to town. we didn't give up. we decided to go to our local beach which is about 45 min away and rent a house their. this is the beach we normally go to for the day but, we've never stayed the night.  we finally got all packed and were waiting on our tap-tap driver to pick us up.

what seemed and looked like an abandon beach hotel---we arrived.  once we pulled up, we all kinda looked at each other with the look of, "is this it?"  we unloaded and checked out all the rooms. we had the whole place to ourselves. well, besides the Haitian family there that was cooking for us. after we ate an amazing meal, we all sat around talking. we laughed alot and they were super sweet. we were all so exhausted so while the generator was still running we headed to bed. janice and i shared a room together and before falling asleep, we laughed our heads off.  we laughed at the fact that we were in the most random abandon looking house, random people cooking for us and watching out for us. we could not help but laugh. we also decided to sleep with our lights on. haha.

at 4:30am when the generator ran out of gas, i woke up and could not go back to sleep. it was pitch black and i could not see a thing. it was alittle scary. as i laid there, i thanked God for His protection and for His randomness. haha. @5:45 i decided to get up or i was going to get carried away by mosquito's. i started to hear the others in the house as well so, we all got up and walked to our most amazing view. the Caribbean. along with the amazing view, we got to see the local fisherman in their homemade wooden boats. they were making their way to their nets. such hard work. i was so humbled by their hard work. such hard work for so little.

in our Pj's with our feet in the ocean, we sang happy birthday to Micha. we turned on some worship music from my phone and sat and listen to words of truth. i was reminded on How much God loves us just by the view that was before my eyes. almost as if it was a painting in a famous museum. never in a million years did i ever think that i would be here. WOW- what saying Yes to Jesus can bring to your life!!  thankful and humbled. extremely thankful.

Tachi, Ester and i stayed near our house on the beach while the others walked a little further down to where we normally go.  I love spending time with Tachi.  She is always so honest and such a true friend. i love our conversations.  i know part of me being here is to build a stronger relationship with her and Esther. i love them both dearly and our friendship will be forever. Tachi is a very special to me. her heart is so good.
we relaxed all day. bathe in the sun all day. we laughed all day and we looked for awesome rocks all day.

the next morning was pretty much like the one before. up early, enjoyed the morning view and watched the fisherman. after watching them pull their nets in by hand, we walked over to them to see if they had any fish in their LARGE net. HUGE. like this net is supposed to catch thousands of fish. when we got close enough to see, we noticed that the huge net only had 1 small fish in it. one. just one. after all that hard work. just one. my heart went immediately in "what should we do for them? mode and all i could  hear was..go pray over them and their nets. pray? well, they don't speak my language. they are to busy to stop and pray.. just go jessi. Go. ok, ill GO.
so, i yelled to wadley,janice,the girls and tachi and we prayed over their nets. we all held hands in a circle with their homemade nets at our feet and prayed over their hands and their nets. we prayed and asked our God, the King and the commander of the sea to overflow their nets. overflow. i have not stopped thinking about those men and their nets, i am believing that God will fill their nets and that the men will acknowledge that GOD did it. that God is the commander of the sea. we worship the commander of the sea!

for supper we had lobster and fish fresh from the sea and celebrated Michas 9th Birthday. as Micha was opening her presents, all i could think about was how thankful i am for her. the Lord has used her life to open the hearts of so many. her life has shown so many people Jesus. her life has shown restoration. her life is being used and the Lord will continue to do so. i am so blessed to know her. she has taught me so much. i am thankful that know her. im thankful that her momma has given me the chance to know her.

the next day. we swam all day. wadley tried to catch fish, that looked like the same fish in Finding Nemo, with a bucket and the lid. i laughed at him a lot but he did not give up! i have found a new love for snorkeling. i really like it!  janice and i just wanted to lay out and get a Caribbean tan. we even asked for cooking oil. yes, we did. she gave us a cap full and we lathered up. and we got burned. yep, the sun likes cooking oil. haha. when it came time to leave it was bittersweet. the sweet family that we all had built relationships with helped us load up in the tap-tap. as they were telling us goodbye, we knew that this wasn't going to be our last time to see them. wadley said a prayer for them and we could not thank them enough for what they did for us. we said our good-byes and headed back to Gressier.

             we were all sun-kissed. we were all thankful for rest. we were all thankful for each other.

the weekend was full of sun.  
 full of friends. 
full of joy. 
full of rest. 
  full of an amazing view. 
  Jesus was near and i am so thankful. 

times like these are much needed. a nice getaway from the reality of what sometimes looks like hopelessness is needed. its needed because we are ready. ready to bring Hope through Jesus Christ. 


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just jessi

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so. im simple. its not about me, all the time i find that when i get in the way of what the Lord is trying to do...things get messed up. i try to love on others. i have great friends that i am very proud of and my family is the iron that sharpens me.