Monday, March 30, 2015

we've been married for 1 year & 15 days so i wrote about it.

oh man.
as i think about what has happened in the last year, i get a little overwhelmed. it seems like i should be slap worn out..
the other day when Ben and I were talking about our first year of marriage, Ben's response was, “its only been a year?, it feels like 5!” .. i agree. 100% my love, i agree with you. this time last year, we had no clue what Our God had in store of us. We were just two clueless souls, depending 100% on the Lord, and that's what we will do for the next 100 years. Having a man like Ben Morris, fighting alongside me through this battle of life is worth it. 
Ya’ll, marrying Ben Morris has been a gift. A gift straight from Jesus. HE knew I would need Ben to share this life with. 

thinking about March 15, the day we said YES to each other, brings back so much joy and thankfulness. prepping for this day was the best. we were surrounded by our most favorite women and men of all time:  Kelli,Cami and Ali. Mr.Eugene, Josh and Hunter. Our parents and our favorite little people ever..Evie,Bella,Addie,Josie,David Patrick,June,Ruben and Deacon.
Ali,Lana,Melissa,Madeline,Jamie,Shannon,Eryn,Katie,John,Jonathan,Steve,Paul,JoJo,David,Chris, and Ron.
Kelli and David provided their home for us and we will never be able to thank them enough for the most beautiful wedding venue of all time. Kelli, thank YOU for trusting my crazy dream, my weird-o ideas and helping me bring them to life. Our parents provided the example of amazing marriages and the love and support of our marriage. They provided tables and chairs, helpers along the way, money to make this happen, lots of weekends of getting together to make the dream of an outside, wedding in the woods, available for Ben and I. Our siblings, you all made the day just right, from our pictures to the decor, to cooking loads of meat, to dancing with us under the moonlight. we could have not done it without you! Our aunts, uncles and cousins.. you blew us away. you never once complained and you dove right in and helped our day happen. we are blessed because of you. My friends, who created the signs, you took time away from your busy lives and painted. your creations made the trees look even more beautiful! 
Mrs. Becky Dupry for making my dream dress come true..thank YOU!  The “feeling” that i imagined to feel when i slipped into my dress, became so real to me on March 15th. Sweet Hope Smith, you made made feel like the prettiest gal in the room, ill never be that pretty again. Your work is a gift and I'm thankful that you shared it with me. The women that surrounded me in my sisters bedroom when i was getting ready, you all made feel like the only person in the world at that moment. it was very surreal to me. i was the girl who thought that a wedding day would never come for me. thankfulness was over flowing from my heart. BonnieKate put together the most amazing head piece that completed “the look” that i was going for. Thank You Sweet BK. Amy Martin, Chad Schoonmaker, Chris Morris and Tara Morris, Jordy Wax, Chase Smith and Adam Walters.. where do i even begin with you guys??? Your capturing of our day is something that we’ll get to share with our kids one day!! Your work will forever hang in our home and rerun on our tvs. With huge grateful hearts, we are thankful. our beautiful cousins that handed me the flowers that made my bouquet, we didn't even practice and it was like we did. I'm so thankful God made us family!! 
Cody, Eryn, Wadley, The Fotos, and Kam, thank you for sharing your voices and your talent with us and our guest. You made the trees dance that day! You made our hearts sing Praise. This time was very special to us. The ladies and men that provided the food, you fed over 600 people and still to this day, people are complimenting the food. YOU knocked it out of the woods!! Josh Causey helped us understand the Covenant we were entering together and the message that was shared with our guest, brought them to a better understanding of who Jesus is. This is what we hoped for. You nailed it Josh!!  Maggie Dawson, Debbie Kemp, Carlette Dawson, Mark Kemp, Marsha Daniel, Jesse Graves, Tonya Newstrom, Brittany Smith... your helping hands and willing heart saved the day. You took our vision and made things happen! Mrs. TeeGee at the flower farm, who provided the flowers, oh my goodness..THANK YOU! 
OUR GUEST, being surround by you on March 15th in the woods, is something that i can’t quite explain. The feeling of “bursting out of the seams” was very Real. very real. my heart was so overwhemed with thanksgiving. Jesus was so near that day. He was showing us His love through all of you. Thanks for hanging in there after the 8 minutes of rain and dancing the night away to the amazing tunes provided by: Josh Winkler!! 

so here's our year: 

-being a Step-Momma to Colby Lane Morris.  HELLO, am i ever learning how to be a boy-mom. You are the cutest strawberry blond i know. you’re teaching me how to be a better mom and i can’t thank you enough for that. God is using you in ways to teach me things about myself.  thank you for your laugh and for being patient with me.  i love how you and your dad are best buds. i love you and I'm thankful for you. 

-our Honeymoon was the absolute best. i LOVED spending this time with Ben. Our 1st night was in a tree house (well what seemed like a tree house) in St.Francisville. then to NOLA for a night where we ate ourselves sick and explored Nola.. then headed to Haiti. Who goes to Haiti on their Honeymoon?  we got this question a lot as we were planning. Honestly, Ben and i would not have wanted to go anywhere else. We wanted to be in place where it felt like home, where we loved, and wanted to invest our money. We could have gone anywhere, and we did explore other options and we always came back to Haiti. Haiti is really where Ben and I fell in Love with each other in the 1st place. We loved our time in Jacmel on the most beautiful piece of Gods creation and and we loved our time with our friends/family at Respire Haiti. #noplaceidratherbe

-1 month and 4 days after our wedding day………..i missed. and after 4 days of missing….. i took a test. BOOM. PREGNANT. holy moly. As Ben and i cried tears of joy,  WE WERE SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i always just wanted to be a momma. On our 8 week appt, after the check-up, doctor said he thinks i miscarried. i did, BUT there was a heart beat.. i conceived twins. it was a bittersweet day, knowing that i lost a baby, but, very thankful that the other baby was still living. at 12 weeks, i lost the other baby. Ben was a away at drill and i was alone. i called my sister right away and to the rescue she came. i will forever be thankful for her sweet words on this 2am morning call. Ben was able to come the next day. During the time that i was without him made be yearn for him even more. i just wanted him. the Lord taught me so much during this time. as much as i was yearning for Ben to be near to me during this time, the Lord was telling me that all i need to do it yearn for HIM all the time. Jesus was near. Jesus was holding me. I could feel Him. He was so close. I am extremely thankful. Though Ben and I were extremely sad, we turned our hearts to Jesus and knew that this was part of His plan.

-tons of memories!!!!!
Beach with family. Weekends Fishing at Black River Lake. Rodeos. Colby improving with his Rodeo skills. Friends having babies. Being a Doula for a few dear friends. Death and how it can bring so much honor to Christ. Cousins visiting from Cali, Ala and Ark. visits from Haitian Friends!  Soccer. Baseball. Concerts. Spending lots of time with our family. HOLIDAYS. Friday night Football games. trips to Haiti. Birthday parties. Cowboy Church. The Ring Community Church. Family Reunions. Remolding our house. learning how to cook. buying a lawn-mower. family Dinners. everything that involves our nieces and nephews. lots of weddings! the book, miracle on voodoo mountain. disney world. ben having drill. t-ball... i could keep going.

-the day after Thanksgiving, I left for Haiti. What i thought i was going for was quickly changed and totally blew my mind and all who was involved. I'm not going into a ton of detail but, ill try to explain.  After 6 days of being in Haiti, i called Ben and told him,"i was canceling my flight because of how super fast things were going...I THINK THAT IF WE WORK REALLY HARD, WE COULD HAVE PAPER WORK DONE AND SONSON COULD FLY HOME WITH ME!!" Ben's response was, "don't come back without him!!'... oh how i am very thankful for my man!
so.. all that to say, GOD pushed down every wall, every door, traffic, language barrier, provided very kind Haitians and Americans in authority to work with. HE DID EVERYTHING. all i was doing was running 100mph and saying YES. After all the appointments, Bernard (my life savor for the week) looked at SonSons passport and the embassy didn't issue us a medical visa but a 5 year tourist visa. OUR HEARTS ABOUT LEAPED OUT OF OUR CHEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so, SonSon and I hopped on a plane a few days later and were welcome by our family and friends.
Dr.Vick and staff have shown us nothing but love and we will forever be thankful. He confirmed the Hydronephrosis and after a few exams SonSon will not require surgery at this time. We will see Dr.Vick in a few months again for more exams to see how his kidneys are doing. We are blessed.
Retuning from Haiti on December 13th, we busted right into Christmas then a new year.

Y'all, i am bout in tears as i finish this up. i just can't believe how God works. While in Haiti, God reminded me that i would have been 38 weeks pregnant the week i was there. Theres no way American Airlines would have let me and my huge preggo self on a plane to another country. HE reminded me..that HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT BEST. He showed off in huge ways those 2 weeks i was there and continues to do so. NONE of these beautiful events of our 1st year of marriage would have been possible without HIM and i am here to testify. Jesus is so real.

We are very thankful for our 1st year and we are thankful that we didn't smother each other with our pillows in times of being really pissed off at each other. Yes, those times occur also. But, the love that runs very deep have saved us from those moments ;). we can't and don't want to life without each other. Jesus is the Remedy. He has loved, provided, and cared for us in so many ways. we are extremely thankful and want to serve Him with our lives. we always want our lives to be available.

the end. but not the end.


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just jessi

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so. im simple. its not about me, all the time i find that when i get in the way of what the Lord is trying to do...things get messed up. i try to love on others. i have great friends that i am very proud of and my family is the iron that sharpens me.